A Glimpse of Childbirth

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This is a documentation of notable events and happenings around my first experience of childbirth. Everything here is from my point of view, it is not necessarily what any other person would experience. I hope that you will find joy and pleasure reading my story.

I fell asleep just as labour was starting, and when I awoke, my brand-new baby was lying next to me in the hospital bed. That would have been quite a super story but things didn’t exactly work out that way.

My nurse had informed me that my baby may arrive before, on, or after the due date. However, I was left with two possibilities since no baby had arrived before my due date.

On the day my baby was due, I woke up around 4 am having some cramps. I felt like peeing but noticed that the tissue was slightly stained with blood after I wiped. Starting to have different thoughts, I decided to wake my husband up. I informed him about the pain and stain. His response was, “Just breathe!” “I’m breathing!” I glared at him. Reflecting after the whole episode had passed, I realized that he simply didn’t know what else to say. As it was still dark at that time, we decided to go to the hospital later, around 7 a.m. that morning.

It wasn’t surprising when my husband fell into a deep sleep soon after we prayed. He had had an extremely busy day. I only heard the soft sound of his breath as a rhythm to soothe the pain. Regrettably, I was unable to sleep. I kept reliving all of the childbirth articles I’d read. I had visualized the first symptom of labour being the bursting of the water and afterwards, a dash to the hospital. My mind was not yet made up on having an epidural. My thoughts were that any severe pain was God’s way of telling me, “my daughter, take it!”

I tried to see if there was any rhythm to the pain I was experiencing, it was constant. Just before 7 a.m., I woke my husband, and we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Thankfully, despite the COVID restrictions that had kept him from my previous appointments, he was allowed to go in with me this time.

At the hospital, after an examination, I was told my cervix was still only one centimeter dilated. They advised that I could either stay (though not in the birthing room) or go home and return once the contractions became more frequent. After considering our options, we decided to head back home.

That evening, we returned to the hospital. This time, after an examination, the doctors informed me that I was ready to be moved to the delivery room. I was in intense pain. I felt the baby was going to be out at that instant. It wasn’t so. I still had a long way to go. It was then I realised that the epidural was going to be a blessing and when the doctor asked at some point if I wanted it, I gave her a look that practically screamed, Why are you even asking? My husband signed the consent form and an epidural was administered. It worked! The pain subsided. I was relieved! The doctors left us alone in the delivery room, only checking in occasionally to monitor my progress.

Once I was fully dilated, the doctors informed me that they would withdraw the epidural so I could start pushing. As soon as they did, the pain hit me with full intensity. I cried and prayed, overwhelmed by the sudden return of the agony. My husband kept asking how I was feeling, but eventually, I snapped and told him to stop asking. Of course, I was in pain—couldn’t he see that?

Finally, the moment arrived. The doctor instructed me to push, and I gave it my all. My husband, having studied different pushing techniques, was incredible at guiding and encouraging me through each contraction. The doctors were supportive and provided excellent care as well. Soon, they announced they could see the baby’s head. Only the head was visible for a while, so they had to perform an incision. Moments later, our baby was born, followed quickly by the placenta.

I remember the feeling I had after hearing my baby’s first cry. My heart leapt for joy. “I have a baby!” I could feel the awesomeness of God in the whole procedure. After the clean-up and check-up, the doctor eventually placed my baby in my hands.

I was happy that the wait was over and I could finally hold my baby. I was relieved of the pain I had felt some hours before. At the same time, I was shocked at what I saw. I had not gotten a glimpse of his face in the ultra scan during pregnancy due to having an anterior placenta(though even if I had seen it, I don’t think that would have been clear enough) but before this, I had thought babies came out all cute! Mine seemed different.

The head was oddly shaped. The doctor saw as I kept checking him and assured me. It’s totally normal, she said. ‘Give it a few days.’ True to her words, after a few days, the shape of his head normalized.

His eyes were big, wide open and shiny. He stared at me as if to say, ‘I am here now, so what?’ He immediately put two tiny fingers in his mouth and sucked them noisily. “What? Your first few minutes in this world and you are already showing yourself”. Weren’t babies supposed to keep their eyes closed on their first day? And too new to be sucking on their fingers! His skin was almost translucent, pale and delicate. His hair, though not full, covered his entire head, which I was perfectly fine with.

I was awe-struck and could not stop looking at him. I wondered how amazingly great God is to have made this small human grow inside of me. Though I was tired, I could not sleep. My baby slept on. I ignored the hospital bassinet that had been placed in the room for him to sleep in. Instead, I placed him on my bed, laid beside him and kept checking to see if he was breathing. I could not move for the fear of swishing him somehow. I tried breastfeeding him but failed each time as he wasn’t latching properly. I later learnt how to do that properly with the help of a breastfeeding consultant who was assigned to assist me.

We left the hospital and had our baby to ourselves. Our first attempt at bathing him did not go well at all. My husband and I had earlier watched a couple of videos that were centered on how to bathe babies. We gathered all the needed materials for this. My husband who felt he had gathered enough knowledge from the videos had proudly insisted that I allow him to bathe our baby. He was ready to replicate what he had watched. Unfortunately, no video prepared him for such a reality. The baby was so tiny. He didn’t know where to hold. He was being careful not to have water in the wrong places since the umbilical stump had not fallen off and we had read that we should keep the place dry. We also had to ensure that the baby was not overly exposed to the cold. My role was to pour water as directed by him. Eventually, he decided he had done enough. It wasn’t quite what you’d call a bath. However, our next attempt went much better.

On the seventh day after the birth of our baby, he was named. My husband and I already had names for him long before he was born. Before I got pregnant, we already picked out some names. He is a very special boy to us so we were careful about his name. Our parents had also sent the names they wanted him to bear. This was not an issue as in Yorubaland where we come from, a child could be given as many names as possible some of which even they would not remember later on.

I cannot leave out the fact that at the naming ceremony, I could not hold back tears while my baby’s names were being called. I was crying uncontrollably. Though it was embarrassing, I couldn’t help it. I don’t know exactly why I was crying but I guess I was overwhelmed by the fact that I could see the awesomeness of God in all. My baby slept throughout the occasion which I was thankful for.

Everything was new to me. My baby made some unusual sounds that I hadn’t heard from other babies. After researching online, I learned that these sounds were actually quite common. Additionally, a week after delivery, we met with a breastfeeding specialist to address concerns about our baby’s weight. He wasn’t gaining weight as expected because he wasn’t feeding well. It seemed like he was more interested in sleeping than eating, and none of the techniques we tried to keep him awake were working. I later realized that his excessive sleep was linked to his poor feeding. I found breastfeeding challenging and had to be guided in establishing a routine and determining how much breast milk to provide.

After some time, I started to experience a few low moments. Out of nowhere, I began to feel awful. I had taken a walk with my husband and son. I glanced at my husband, who looked calm and composed, while I felt like a complete mess. I was overwhelmed and remember crying and wishing my mum was with me. Thankfully, my husband was quick to give me a short speech about how the mother of his baby looked amazing even after going through the ordeal of a delivery.

It was a very interesting period of my life. I appreciate mothers more and cherish all the sacrifices they make.

Lessons learnt

*You need a support system. Never think you can do this alone.

*Cut yourself some slack. You are doing great. You look good considering what you have gone through. You will look great again soon enough.

*Things will get better, worry less.

*Try to enjoy every phase. They won’t last forever.

*People will step on your toe. You might get more easily irritated. Don’t take things to heart. Forgive quickly.

*God gave you the baby, he knows how best to take care of him or her. Hand that aspect over to God.

*If you are not married yet, please consider the fact that doing this alone is definitely a lot. Make the best choice.

*The life you have birthed is worth every bit of the sacrifice.

*You can’t go through all you went through and refuse to put in your best to raising your child.